restless

Aku tak tau apa yang berlaku kat aku sekarang nie.. rasa kusut jer.. kusut sekusut-kusutnyer.. rasa macam hilang arah tujuan.. macam2 masalah timbul... tapi macam biasa la, kengkawan tak kan tau yang aku tgh kusut pasal aku pandai cover.. aku lebih suka memendam perasaan.. tak kira la kalau aku sakit hati dengan seseorang ker dua orang ker.. itu la aku..

Everything happen for a reason.. right now, the reason is unknown..

Kekujatan

Today i got a message from Ms.Tatie... asking where's my blog?

hehehe well, i got writer's block not writer's blog.. :p I don't know what to write..

Maybe i need to find some sweet spot for inspiration to pouring in in my empty thick skull of mine..

Well, we will see how it goes..

State of Shock - Best I Ever Had (Official Video)

"Best I Ever Had"

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend

So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave

You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

We fell in love for a reason
Now you're leaving
And I just want you back
So many things we believed in
Now you're leaving and words won't bring you back
I'll never let go of the heart I broke

You and I were living like a love song
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were the best I ever had
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were,
You were the best I ever had

Stay Another Day - East 17

Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think
I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day
Oh, don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day

Don't you know
We've come too far now
Just to go
And try to throw it all away
Thought I heard you say
You love me
That your love was gonna be here to stay
I've only just begun
To know you
All I can say is
Won't you stay just one more day

Chorus:
Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think
I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day
Oh, don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day

I touch your face while you are sleeping
And hold your hand
Don't understend what's going on
Good times we had return
To haunt me
Though it's for you
All that I do seem to be wrong

Chorus:
Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think
I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day
Oh, don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day

Broken

Yup..!! i'm broken.. my heart shattered in million pieces..

Thanks for everything.. thanks for giving me the false hope..

Thanks for the making me realized that I am 'The Loser'

Thank You...

I'm Trying..

i'm trying my best not to put high hopes in this relationship.. trust me.. i tried but i can't.. i keep thinking of you.. i tried not to text or call since i afraid that you would be pissed.. it was hopeless.. in the end i still text you and i guess i made you fed up.. i'm sorry..

right now, i will keep on waiting for you.. even if it will take forever.. just wait.. and i will not bother you anymore.. i will only keep my feeling to myself like i used to do previously.. it's better that way when no one will get hurt other than me.. i'm used to it.. so, it won't be a problem..

i wish you the best in everything that you do.. i wish that you could share what happen in your life with me but i guess that's too much for me to ask for.. i miss the time when we could talk for hours.. but i'm the one who blew it up.

Take care my dear.. please remember that i will always be here for you.. and i'll be right here waiting for you..

Love Hurts.

Queen - Too much love will kill you

Dido - White flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction
To come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of it's over
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Ash-Lost In You

Confused

Life sometimes a bit weird.. one time you're ok and the next you know, things goes the opposite way.. it makes you wonder.. why?

Life is very hard to predict.. you just have to endure it and be prepared for all the consequences that will follow.. be strong and remember, things will never be as good as you expected..

Happy..

I'm Happy..!!!

Love you Baby...!!!

soil-breaking me down

LET IT GO

How far will a falling star take me

How far can I go can I go

Gotta be what the nightmare made me

Gotta be gotta be what I see

Jump clear of the falling parts from me

How far will they go will they go

Can't give what you need from me baby

Just let it go

Bringing me down break me down sweet sugar

Bringing me down break me down

Breaking me down to the ground sweet baby

Breaking me down to the ground

Too much is made of what's in me

Not enough about how I strive

Keep an eye on your world it's cheating

Keep an eye keep an eye on me

Deep inside there's a little place for me

A little place for me

Can't give what you want from me baby

Just leave it be

Bringing me down break me down sweet sugar

Bringing me down break me down

Breaking me down to the ground sweet baby

Breaking me down to the ground

Sweet razor wound

Deep down slice my groove

Sweet razor wound

Deep down C'mon and slice it

How far did the falling star take me

How far did it go did it go

Had to be what the nightmare made me

Fuck,..Just had to be

Jump clear of the falling parts form me

How far did they go did they go

Can't give what you want from me baby

Hell,..Just let it go

Are u happy now?

What should i say.. I relieved.. but i can't say that i'm happy about it.. why can't we be like we used too.. i'm not persuading you to love me.. i know.. you can't forget your ex and you love him so much.. i respect your decision.. but you don't have to distance yourself from me.. what's happen to we can still be a best friend?

I may sound pathetic but right now, every morning i will look at your picture and say good morning and have a nice day.. and at night i will say good night and sweet dreams.. the picture will not talk back, at least it keep smiling to me...

Serabut.

yup... a new day and it's getting worst.. It's been 7 days since last time i smoke.. i never thought of quitting actually.. just suddenly i think to do it.. maybe to appreciate a new lease of life recently but now i don't know whether i can carry on or not..

i'm completely stressed out.. sad.. heart broken.. i made a person that i love hated me.. i'm completely down.. no mood to do anything.. been having this thought of ending my life.. yea.. i know.. it's not a way to settle all of your problems but that was what on my mind.. i'm not that crazy to do it but i guess everyone must have thought about it sometimes.. *sigh*

I should start to smoke again.. that's the only cure for me right now.. but will it be worth it..?? *sigh* God please help me.. i'm drowning in sorrow... all i'm asking for right now is for her to say something to me.. please dear.. no more silent treatment.. it's killing me... I am deeply sorry... what more can i do to make things better... i really really love you so much...

*sigh*

Lost In You

Lost in You By Ash

Lying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And you're far away, but you are always on my mind

I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do
I'm troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true

And it's times like these when I am dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, I'm dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, I'm dying to speak to you.

Staring at the wall, I sink inside
I think about it all, I get caught up in my life
I can't think straight, because it's tearing up my mind

I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do
I'm troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true

And it's times like these when I am dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, dying to get through

The more that I think how I need you
The more that I think, the more it seems true
And now it means more that I ever meant it to
Ever meant it to

Lying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And you're far away, but you are always on my mind

You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

Sad...

Damn...!!! i'm so sad right now.. God.. give me strength to carry on.. it's hurt...

Please forgive me..

After 10 years being single, finally i feel good again.. but am i making a big mistake? i wish i'm not..

Finally I feel like my prayers have been answered by Him. My wish comes true.. the person that i have a crush on becomes my friend and we talk and love each other company.. I love her so much.. Don't ask me how and why i loved her so much.. i don't have the answer myself.. the feeling comes within.. there's no other suitable explanation to it.. i just love her so much.. i would do anything for her..

"If you told me to cry for you, I could

If you told me to die for you, I would

Take a look at my face

There's no price I won't pay

To say these words to you"

but of course, Bon Jovi says it better than me.. :p

well, last night we had a fight.. i don't know how it happens but it did.. sorry my dear.. i'm not forcing you.. i'm just saying it because i love you so much.. i don't want you to be hurt.. i love you.. i fell bad.. i'm sorry my dear.. i am so sorry... i hope this won't tainted our relationship.. and i really hope that things will be back to normal again.. Please Forgive Me...

Please let me love you.. I'll wait for you no matter how long it would take.. and I Redha if we're not meant for each other..

BORED

so boring today.. don't know what to do.. my job sucks..!! well i didn't do anything anyway and that's suck.. going to 'work' everyday and doing nothing..!!! what a life..!! i need a new job or i will die bored..!!!

Weekend

ada member tanya aku, apa aku buat time weekend kat Gerik.. aku pun cakap la buat bodoh jer la.. takde apa2 pun kat Gerik nie.. Member serumah pun balik kampung dia time weekend.. maklum la dekat.. aku takkan nak balik kot.. dah la 5 jam travelling.. tak termasuk kos minyak n tol lagi.. so, aku lepak2 je la kat umah.. jadi surirumah yang baik... basuh baju, kemas rumah, mop rumah.. cuci bilik air.. selebihnya makan n tido.. apa lagi yang boleh buat kat sini.. hehehe

nasib baik la ada mustaqim kat umah.. takde la aku sengsorang kat umah... kiranya aku ngan dia jer la time weekend.. lagi satu kat gerik nie ramai sangat perantau cam aku ni.. time weekend jer, sunyi jer taman umah aku.. masing2 balik ke kampung halaman gamaknyer.. memang tu la rutin every weekend... takde apa2 pun..

so, best tak life aku?

WHY..!!!

Sorry la lama tak update blog nie.. bukan apa, otak jadi malas.. maklum la makan gaji buta jer.. otak pun dah malas nak pikir.. sebenarnya banyak yang berlegar2 kat pala otak aku nie.. serabut sangat.. tu belum kira ngan sawangnyer lagi... haih...

Kenkadang tu aku rasa yang life aku nie sebenarnya dah sampai kat penghujung.. dah tak boleh nak improve lagi... seberapa banyak yang aku cuba pun masih macam tu jugak.. Orang cakap segala perbuatan jahat kita akan dibayar cash n perbuatan baik selalunya dibayar secara ansuran.. aku nie jahat ker? banyak sangat rintangan yang aku kena tempoh.. kalau tak jahat, baik ker aku nie.. macam takde apa2 pun.. pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak.. mungkin juga aku ditakdirkan untuk merasa susah dulu.. tapi sampai bila.. otang akan kata, "semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya" memang betul.. aku percaya.. tapi kenapa banyak betul ranjau dalam hidup aku ni..

Aku pernah selami balik perjalanan hidup aku ni.. aku rasa takde benda yang salah aku buat.. aku tak minum.. aku tak main pompuan.. aku tak mencuri, merompak, buat benda tak senonoh kat anak orang.. aku lagi suka duduk kat umah dari berpelesaran tak tentu arah.. tapi bila aku tengok orang lain, aku jadi jaki.. kenapa aku tak macam diorang.. takde masalah.. buat benda yang tak senonoh pun masih boleh bergelak ketawa.. aku bukan la nak ikut jejak diorang buat benda tak senonoh.. tapi nak rasa happy.. problem free cam diorang.. tak macam aku.. lepas satu, satu masalah yang timbul.. haih..

*Aku masih menunggu hikmah disebalik semua ini*